Sistah's Blog

Have you ever felt like you didn’t’ fit in because you were too dark or not light enough? When you grow up with siblings that don’t look like you and tease you because you’re darker or lighter than them, it does something to your self-esteem and your spirit. You find yourself with an identity crisis as a black woman. Growing up, I had an aunt that did the brown paper bag test when you became of age to start dating. Now, this sounds cruel because what you are teaching your nieces and daughters is to not bring home a man any darker than the brown paper bag. You remember the brown paper bag, right? She was a stickler for making her point that if you dated someone darker than a brown paper bag, your babies would be ugly because he or she would be dark skinned. Photo Credits: Black Beautiful Women Tumblr   I am a beautiful brown skinned woman that struggled as a pre-teen thru my young adult years with my skin color. Because some people in the family said I was not light ...

There was a story published in a online publication that I follow called The Root.com about a woman who married herself.  This idea sounds crazy right! Well, it raises the question, are we taking being independent to the extremes that we decide to marry ourselves?  The vows of a marriage are sacred and it's a covenant between you and God.  How do you have a covenant with God and yourself and no spouse? It's understandable that one gets lonely, but one should view that time as getting yourself ready for your soul mate. Sometimes we think we are ready for marriage because all of our friends, colleagues, and family is doing it! Marriage should not be a trend.  Marriage represents an investment into two people.  It's an unbreakable bond that bring forth unity of two people that have to put forth the time, energy, and work to make the marriage survive through the ups and downs.  Marriage should be a special day that you celebrate with someo...

All women and men really need to understand this; you can't fly high in true love  until self-love has truly landed.  If you don't love yourself, how could you look at someone else and demand it?  If you don't know your worth, you could cheat yourself out of what you deserve, and love may never go the way that you planned it.  No one can set a better example of how to treat you better than you can.  If you attempt to give your love away when self-love and self-worth are not present; your heart could end up with more jagged edges than a used can.  It's hard to give someone something that you don't have.  It's even harder to be faithful to something within you that doesn't exist.  Love is supposed to be a gift, but if you don't love yourself before you attempt to unwrap it; all you'll really be giving away is a wish. When you learn your worth and become faithful to yourself; you won't let any woman or man use you again and again; abuse you ...

Have you ever gotten completely lost in a man that you forgot your own self worth?  Have you found yourself lost in love?  New relationships can be exciting and fun because you are in the "getting to know phase".  Getting to know a person is apart of relationship development, growth , and nurturing process. One just has to remember to allow time and space between each other so that you are not suffocating one another.  As the relationship progresses, it's okay to want his touch and his kisses to leave you memorized.  It's the beauty of learning someone new and what they have to offer in the relationship. Picture credit: Pinterest board  When you find yourself loving everything about him from his smile, the way he talks, the way he walks, and even the way he smells are signs that you really like him.  It's adorable and intriguing to have those emotions and cares.  However, when you find yourself given him all of your atten...

Have you ever been rejected by someone you had taken an interest in?  We all had that one, two, or three people that we found ourselves interesting in getting to know more about them on a more personal level past the plutonic friendship.   How did you deal with being rejection? Did you smile and walk away or did you stand there an cry?  Did you result to violence toward that person because you were rejected?     Rejection is a hard pill to swallow when you truly have a genuine interest in that man or woman.  One has to learn to deal with it and accept the fact that not everyone is compatible.  Most important thing to remember is that people have the right to their own preference for their type of person that he or she is attracted to or interested in dating.  Just two weeks ago, a young lady was killed because she refused to give her phone ...

Have you ever been in a situation with a friend where you knew something about her man?  Are you taking that information to your grave?  We took a small survey of women regarding things you cannot tell your friend about her man. The results were somewhat shocking given 3 of the 10 can rock or destroy your friendship.  When we asked why not tell her, the overall response was to spare her feelings and to spare the friendship.  The top 3 things you would not tell your friend about her man: 1. He's cheating on her : The thought process is that she will never believe me if I tell her that I saw her man out with another woman.  It may come off as you are being nosey, over-reacting, and confused.   Is it your place to tell your friend that you have seen her husband or significant other with another woman?  Would you be over stepping your boundaries of minding your own business?  The possibi...

Learning how to love again starts with you learning how to love yourself.  How can you give love to someone else when you don't love yourself?  You can start by telling yourself that you love you.  To be able to receive love one must be able to recognize and experience the love languages.  Learning how to love again can be difficult when you are coming out of a unhealthy relationship.  You can love again because it is learned and earned from another person and love is not lost forever.  It takes time to heal a broken heart and forgiving the one who broke your heart is the key to a new start.  Forgiveness is important so that you are not holding onto the pain or the past.  One must remember, at the end of the day God still loves you unconditionally.  This is the type of love that you want to have in your life with no strings attached.  Unconditional Love is a beautiful thing and experiencing it will be a joy again. Photo Courtesty...

The question of the moment, Why are you the other woman?  What's the purpose and the benefits of being the other woman?  It baffles me as to why any woman want to be second to another woman.  I never understood the reasoning or excuses that some women give regarding being the other woman. Are there some special perks to being the other woman?  These are questions for the "Other woman" to think about. Honestly, I don't see perks to being second to another woman nor do I see the perks in sharing a man that you should want to have all of his undivided attention.  What about the drama that comes with it when the wife or girlfriend finds out about you?  Most importantly, what about that sister's feelings and the affect on the family.  I spoke with a few women who expressed that they don't mind being the other woman because it has benefits and perks.  Here are their top 5 benefits to being the other woman: He pay...