Monday, November 24, 2014

A Time to be Thankful

A time to be thankful for family, friends, and associates.  What are you thankful for?  I am thankful for all the dream chasers, dream builders, ambitious women and men who step out on faith each day to pursue their dreams and purpose. 

I am thankful for the inspiration that I received this year to truly follow my dreams and passion.  Oprah Winfrey said it best, "follow your passion you will find your purpose."  I am grateful for the support of my daughter, family, friends, and readers.  I am thankful for the many teachers and mentors that have crossed my path  to give me advise, guidance, direction, and hope that has influenced my passion of many interests. 

I am grateful for the new circles of friendship, associates of trade, and new resources and relationships being established along this wonderful journey.  I am thankful for the dreams, the visions, and the plans God has placed in my spirit and birthed from my soul.

It's time this week to be thankful as we all head out to celebrate Thanksgiving Day with our family and friends. Lets remember to invite someone that will spend this holiday alone.  A time to be thankful is a time to be loving on one another.  What are you thankful for? 

Happy Thanksgiving from Sistah's Place2

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Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Would you Relocate to another State for Love?

Would you relocate to another state for someone you are in love with?  Is there a rule that says the woman has to relocate or is it the man? 

These questions are pondered every day when someone is dating or in a committed relationship with someone that does not live in the same state as they do.  The love experts never said, he will find you in the state that you currently reside.  He might be passing through on business, visiting family, or visiting friends and you catch his eye so he decides to get your number.  The feeling of dating someone who does not live in the same state can be challenging at times, but what’s important is the communication and quality time spent together.  One has to know that you cannot do a long distance relationship for more than a year.  It can become expensive to traveling back and forth if he or she is more than 200 miles apart from one another.   Now that is another topic to be discussed at a later date.

Is there a rule that says the woman has to relocate or is it the man?  There is no written rule that states who has to move.  It's a conversation that must take place in the beginning of the courtship.  There must be an understanding of time invested, direction for the relationship, and communication.  We surveyed a few gentleman an the outcome was split 50/50 as half felt it's the man's job to relocate if he is not a business owner versus the other half feel the woman should follow her man especially if he asked her to marry him.

Photo credits on picture

Meanwhile, we surveyed a few women and they said they would relocate to another state for someone that they were in love with for the following reasons:
  1. If he owns his own business it makes sense to move.   
  2. If his career is industry is dominant/most popular in his state where it will cause him to  commute long distance for work.
  3. If the need to just change scenery to live in a new state that offers variety of career options.
  4. If the weather is better (going from the mid-west to a hot climate state with no snow). 
  5. If there were no kids or kids were in college. 
 What are your thoughts? Do you feel a woman should relocate or should the man relocate?  Would you relocate to another state for someone you were in love with? 

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Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Does Celibacy Make the Relationship better?

Choosing not to have sex and waiting till you are married sometimes can be a personal struggle. People choose celibacy for so many reasons whether it's spiritual or just choice not to have casual sex with multiple partners.   Does this make the relationship better?  Are there benefits to being celibate for the relationship?  Can you fall in love with someone without having sex with them?

Being celibate allows two people to truly get to know one another and build a stronger bond between each other without the stress of having sexual relations.  The absence of sex allows you to fully see that person's true value, personality, and build a genuine intimacy on another level.  No sex allows a true friendship to develop and be nurtured.

Are there any benefits to being celibate for the relationship?  Yes, there are benefits that are rewarding to the relationship such as respect, self worth, and wholeness.  A real man will have more respect for a woman who is selective with who she chooses to give herself to intimately.  A real man will honor her choice and vise verse a real woman will honor a man's choice to practice celibacy till marriage.   A relationship that is growing not based on sexual relations will have a stronger bond of commitment to one another and true friendship. 
 
Can you fall in love with someone without having sex?  Yes, you can fall in love without sexual relations.  If we were to look back at our grandparents and our parents, many had to wait for the gentlemen to come and ask the father's approval to court the daughter.  Back in the day, the gentleman was lucky if he got a kiss good night because usually the father was standing in the door way or sitting on the front porch.  One can fall in love with the person's character, the person's spirit, and the person without having sexual relations.  A relationship is not built on sexual relations as that should be a reward that is shared not a requirement to build and establish the relationship.

Do you think Celibacy makes the relationship better?  Do you think it's a hindrance?

 

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Have you Ever Got Lost in a Man?

Have you ever gotten completely lost in a man that you forgot your own self worth?  Have you found yourself lost in love?  New relationships can be exciting and fun because you are in the "getting to know phase".  Getting to know a person is apart of relationship development, growth , and nurturing process. One just has to remember to allow time and space between each other so that you are not suffocating one another.  As the relationship progresses, it's okay to want his touch and his kisses to leave you memorized.  It's the beauty of learning someone new and what they have to offer in the relationship.
Picture credit: Pinterest board 

When you find yourself loving everything about him from his smile, the way he talks, the way he walks, and even the way he smells are signs that you really like him.  It's adorable and intriguing to have those emotions and cares.  However, when you find yourself given him all of your attention and neglecting time for you to be missed and appreciated then that's a sign you have lost yourself.

Ask yourself these few questions to see if you have totally lost yourself:
  1. Do you find yourself missing church because he is not going or watching the game?
  2. Do you put what he wants before what you need and want?
  3. Do you find yourself sacrificing a game for one of your nephews/nieces or  even your own kids to make it to his events?
  4. Do you find yourself saying yes to everything he ask of you and something's that he don't ask for at all?
  5. Do you stop having "girlfriend time" to always be in his presence even with his friends?
  6. Do you find yourself getting mad when you don't have his attention, his time, or affection?
A few doctors might called your responses if they were all yes, "Fatal Attraction".  But for the sake of argument, you have lost yourself in a man.   Now given many have responsibilities with their significant others and spouses that requires invested time of both parties.  Even they like having quality time apart so that you can grow and share with others (friends or co-workers).  If the loving is that good that you don't mind the short list of sacrifices above then you are not whole.  A man does not make you whole for you must be whole before you come into the relationship.  Some men view this as needy and it runs them off.  Bottom line, don't loose yourself in a man that has not lost himself in you.  Two people can get lost in love, but they know how to share each other's time with friends, co-workers, and family. 

Inspired by new aspiring author, Mya Carter's "I Got Lost in a Man" spoken word blog. Check out her spoken word below.

Author Mya's Blog Corner: I Got Lost in a Man!