Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Domestic Abuse Pt. 1 -How many times must you get hit before you walk away?

How many times must you get hit before you walk away? Abusive relationships are not healthy for the women or the children in the relationship.  It sends the wrong type of message to little girls and to little boys growing up in a house where their mother is abused.  Domestic abuse is not a representation of love.  Why do people make excuses for someone hitting a woman? The even bigger question is, Why does a woman stay with her abuser?
Picture credits (Pinterest)
Love is not supposed to hurt you on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis. Whether it's verbal, emotional, or physical no one deserves that type of treatment.  A person should not feel like they are walking on eggshells in fear of being punched or slapped.  The message being sent to the children growing up in a house of abuse is not good for their self esteem, their self worth, and any future relationships they may have with a partner.  For little girls, it sends a message that this is what relationships are made of and it's acceptable to get hit from a man.  It instills in her low self worth and low self esteem that she doesn't deserve better because that is the environment she is accustomed to and that is all she knows.  For the little boy, it will make him angry, he may act out in school, and he will think it's acceptable to strike a woman. This type of behavior teaches both kids a lack of respect for and towards the woman.

Why do people make excuses for someone hitting a woman?  People that make excuses for the abuser blaming his childhood, a mental illness, or his upbringing don't fully understand domestic abuse.  An Abuser is full aware of what he is doing when he strikes a woman.  His main purpose and mission is to have total control over every aspect of her life. It's all about control and dominance. No excuse justifies hitting or beating a woman.  Everyone asks the big question, why does she stay with him? Some women stay because they don't know their self worth, they are embarrassed, and they have been isolated from their family and friends for so long that they are confused.  From my own personal experience, she does not want to be judge for staying with her abuser and she is embarrassed because everyone knows the abuse she was tolerating in her marriage or relationship.  Most important she blames herself for staying and for his actions.  This is truly sad when you witness someone in your family staying in a abusive relationship for those reasons.  The victim of an abuser cannot walk away until she is ready and has had enough to start loving herself.  She has to realize her self worth and get  help to understand she is a victim of abuse.   Hopefully, she will realize who she is before someone has to bring her flowers and say good bye for eternity. 
If you know of a friend, family member, or co-worker that you suspect is in an abusive relationship let them know you are there to listen not judge.